15~ Can you live without a love relationship?

Halfway home...YESSSSS!

Can I live without a love relationship.  Short answer, no.

Long answer, I can live without being in love.  As a matter of fact, I've been doing it for over a year.  But I know for a fact that having someone, whether family, friends, animals, etc, that loves you and you love them is just like breathing. You must have love to live.

I had an uncle (mother's brother) who was placed in a nursing home by his girlfriend of 25+ years (who goes together for 25+ years) for absolutely no real reason.  He did have medical problems...he had throat cancer and had to use a electrolarynx (one of those things that you put on your throat and the sound comes from vibration) and some other minor issues but that was it.  He ended up dying while there.  I am thoroughly convinced he died from a broken heart.  Even though he had family that would visit him (myself included), I feel like he felt as though the woman he spent most of his adult life with gave up on him and it killed him.

Now, would I like to be in love and share my life with someone that loves me unconditionally and I do the same for him?  Of course.  Will I go postal and maim someone if it doesn't happen?  Nope.  To paraphrase Ne-yo, I know my true love and I could be a force when we're together but I'm good all by myself.

I refuse to settle for just anydamnbody...been there, done that, didn't even need to buy the t-shirt. So when true love comes, I'll be ready.  If it decides to stay away, I'm okay with that too.  Trust me, either way, I will survive.

14~ Recreate your most romantic date (a real one)...

I remember this like it was the day before yesterday...some parts are fuzzy...but I remember the good parts.

I had just gotten off of work and I was headed home when I got a call from my then-boyfriend asking if he could see me.  Of course, I said yes and I went home jumped in the shower and headed to his place.  When I got there, he said he had a surprise for me later but he wanted to go for a ride.  So we hopped in the car and headed to the park.  

So we arrived at Bryan Park and we got out and started walking around.  He had brought some bread because he knew I liked to feed the ducks so we fed them and talked and held hands.  We stayed out there for about 2 hours and headed back to my house but on the way there, he said he had to stop at the store.  So we get to the store (which he worked at) and he tells me to sit tight and he would be back.  He comes back about 5 minutes later with a bag full of stuff and off we go.  

When we get to my house, he asks for a big pot so I give him one and he tells me to go sit down and not to be nosy (Me?  Nosy?).  I do as I'm told and about 15 minutes later, he brings out a whole lobster (drawn butter and lemon included), one red rose and wine.  And the best part of all this???  He feeds the whole thing to me...I should add that he does this because he's allergic to seafood...while candles are flickering, Jodeci is singing and a fire is going in the fireplace (didn't really need a fire because it was the middle of October but it added ambiance to the room). The only downside to the date was that I couldn't kiss him for awhile because he would have started itching like a heroin fiend. 

After that, he would always bring seafood to me...crab legs, scallops, shrimps AND he'd even bring some to my parents (you know, to get in good with them).  It must have worked because 3 years later, I married him. 

13~ Do you believe in unconditional love?

Emphatically, YES!!

I know for a fact that God loves me unconditionally.  I know that my kids love me and I love them unconditionally.  My TRUE friends love me unconditionally and I love them the same way.  Now, when speaking about lover-type relationships, I need to explain.

I can and have loved (and to an extent, still love) my exes unconditionally.  But also in the same token, I may not have liked something they did or said.  That didn't make me love them any less but it did make me wonder if they loved me less. That's the only difference between those I listed previously.

So again, yes, I believe in unconditional love.  That's all.  Nothing else.  The end.

12~ Do you believe in zodiac compatibility? Who is your best match from experience? Your worst?

Do I believe in zodiac compatibility??  Eh...kinda.

I've read up on the subject and some of it is true to heart.  But then again, some of the people I was in relationships with were...*scrolls through zodiac symbols in my head*...no sign for jackasses, huh?  Oh well. Being that I'm on the cusp of Virgo/Libra (Sept. 22), I am an amalgamation of contradictions. While the Virgo in me is the perfectionist and very prim and proper, the Libra in me is the wild, don't give a shit side. This link shows how the Virgo/Libra cusp works and I must admit, it's pretty dead on.

My best match relationship-wise differs from that of sexual compatibility.  Best relationship-wise was Taurus.  His brawn and my brain just worked well together...still does even though we're no longer a couple. My best sexual-wise was a tie between Capricorn and Gemini.  That goat (and he was one of the Greatest Of All Time) knew how to get me there.  He had no inhibitions whatsoever.  Nothing was off limits. (I got a chill just thinking about it right now...damn) The Gemini twin had both a make love side and and fuck me til I pass out side (which I did once).  I remember having a fuck session and afterwards, he and I went to the store and I got that residual TWITCH while walking down the frozen food aisle.  Good times...goooood times.

My worst match relationship and sexual wise was another Virgo.  This niggum...damn...just thinking about his ass makes me ill.  He didn't trust me even though he was the one doing dirt and he didn't know how to lick the kitty.  WORTHLESS!!  Not sure how he pulled all those tricks he cheated on me with because sex with him was like eating liver...looks great on a plate but not tasty or satisfying at all.

I know this challenge wasn't about sex but I had nothing else to write. This whole challenge has been a wake up call and also very draining.  Another contradiction of sorts, maybe?  Eh...kinda.

11~ Whom (no names, if you prefer) did you love, who didn't love you back?

Shiiiiid...this list is a mile long and a river deep.

I could write about my first husband who listened to everyone whispering wrong shit in his ear but wouldn't believe a word I said even if I swore on a stack of bibles and 12 previous Popes.  But he's not worth my keystrokes.

I could write about my most recent ex and how he played me like a fiddle in a country band but I've written enough about his squirrel ass in this challenge.  He bores me to tears.  He is the true definition of a non-mutha fuckin' factor.

I could write about the countless dudes I've fallen for that didn't reciprocate but I do have to sleep at some point.

I could even write about my adoptive mother who once told me that I needed to stay with an abusive man because no one else would ever love me with 2 kids.  Or that time told me that she was jealous because my father and I were close.  But I don't want to talk about that.

So I'm gonna bypass this blog.  Not really feeling it.  Sorry.  So let's let Faith sing, shall we?

10~ List 10 people you love and explain what they mean to you

10 people?  Wow.  I mean, I know I love more than 10 people but not everyone is worth writing about (no offense).  But here goes...

1, 2, and 3. My kids, LaSean, Damian and Keith, Jr.~My personal Three Stooges.  These three are my world.  They are my life.  They are my reasons.  Almost anything I do in my life is because of them.  Whenever I am faced with a big decision, I think of them and how they would feel and how they would be impacted.  At 20, 17 and 12 years of age, respectively, I know they're not babies but they're my babies and I couldn't imagine my life without them.

4.  My Daddy, James~James is the reason I'm still in NC.  Most everyone knows that if I could, I would escape this place so quickly, it's not even funny.  But because my dad is up in age and I'm the only child of his that's local (he has a son in Philly), here I stay.  This is the man that taught me how to ride a bike, how to drive, how to cook, how to hustle (there was a time that he worked 4 jobs at once) and just how to be a good and caring person.  I am forever and for always a daddy's girl.

5 and 6.  My sisters, Brenda and Sarah~Brenda, La (as Sarah is called) and I didn't grow up together because our mother was injured when she was pregnant with me and couldn't take care of me.  So her brother (James) and his wife adopted me.  But I've known they were my sisters since I was 5 years old and though we weren't raised in the same house, or the same state, to this day, if you mess with one of us, you got a lot of explaining and possibly some spitting of teeth to do.

7.  My Stacey~Stacey is one of my besties that I met on Yahoo 360 some years back at a time when we both were going through some confusion and conflict in our lives.  Our meeting was so random...she put up a blast saying that she had an odd number of friends on her list and she hated odd numbers so I invited her to my page to even hers out...and the rest is history. We both have 1 daughter and 2 sons (our daughters are less than 4 months apart in age and our middle sons are about the same age as well), we're both Virgos, and we both are crazier than cooked bat shit.  A match made in Heaven.

8.  My Kali~Lawd, lawd, lawd!  What do I say about my Kali?  Kali is a woman that I met on facebook but I had seen her around on 360.  We ran in the same circle but never made a connection until it was discovered that she and I shared an ex (by discovered, I mean she knew and I had a big ass feeling). So I decided one day to hit her in her inbox to ask and we've been besties (yes, I have more than one bestie) ever since.  We've laughed, we've cried, we've bitched and complained.  We've asked why more times than should be allowed.  And all of that has only made our relationship stronger.

9.  I have a lot of friends that can fill this spot so I dedicate #9 to all of you. I don't want to say names because I don't want to offend anyone so I'll say to my blood fam, my chosen fam (friends that have been there since we were knee-high to a june bug), my VA fam, my NC fam, my fb fam (most of y'all), my 360 fam, and to anyone else that's ever touched my heart, Ria loves you.

10.  I'm leaving #10 blank.  I'm saving this spot for my one true love...whoever that may be.  When he comes along, I'm quite sure I'll have a great story to tell. Or maybe not.  But I'm marking this space RESERVED.

9~ Tell us about the first time you ever made love (not had sex)

The first time I made love?  I have to go deep into the vault for this one.

Picture it:  Thanksgiving, Richmond, VA, 1989

My family was up from NC for the holiday...my grandmother, some aunts, uncles and cousins.  The day started early...breakfast at my parents' house...and my mother and I got into an argument because my boyfriend and I had plans to go see a rap show at the Richmond Convention Center.  I believe it was Del the Funky Homosapien, Heavy D and the Boyz and somebody else that I can't remember. Anyhoo, I wanted to get away from all that drama so I went to my boyfriend's house.

I get there and he can tell that I'm upset so he takes me to his room and we talk.  I tell him how upset my mother made me because she knew that we had these tickets even before I knew that my grandmother was coming.  I felt like she just wanted to save face and make me look bad.  My mother and I never had the greatest relationship and this was just another peg on the board to how our relationship worked, but that's a whole 'notha blog.  So I start crying because I'm angry and he takes me in his arms and and just holds me and starts kissing my tears.

Of course, one thing leads to another, and we end up doing it...but this time was different.  It wasn't like the other times (we'd been doing it for two years at this point.)  He had always been gentle with me but I actually felt the intense love that he and I shared.  I felt like, for the first time, I knew what it was to be an adult...sharing a moment with a man that I was in love with in every sense of the word.  (This, consequently, was the first time that I squirted...again, another blog).

I have never forgotten that day.  From that day on, I was a woman and he and I shared one of my greatest love affairs.  Did I mention that 9 months later, we had a daughter?  No?  Well, 9 months later, we had a daughter.  So we made love in more than one way that day.

8~ Do you think you can be in love with two people at the same time?

This question is making me pause and think.  I know my answer to it...I just don't know if I believe it.  I'll come to that conclusion at the end.

Yes, I do think that you can be in love with two people at the same time.  No two people can offer you the exact same feeling and what one true love may lack, the other may have.  It's the same way with having more than one best friend.  Each best friend offers you something the others doesn't or can't.  Looking back, I've been in love with two people at once...twice.  But in both instances, I was a fool because instead of talking to the first one, I found "comfort" with another and both of those were big ass mistakes.

I've heard the saying that if you're in love with two people, choose the second one because if you loved the first, the second wouldn't be a factor...or some shit like that.  I don't agree with that.  I think that if the first relationship is good, appreciate and work with what you have.  The grass may be greener on the other side but in the end, it all needs cutting.

Yeah...I believe this.  Good job, MeMe.

7~ Have you ever been deeply in love? Explain

I don't even know how to begin this blog.  I mean, yes...I've been deeply in love.  On more than one occasion.  2 1/2 times to be exact.  But...

The first time I was deeply in love was my first love.  I wrote about him in my first entry in this challenge so there's no need to write about him again.  The second time was my second husband and I wrote about him in my second entry...no need to explain again.  The half time was my third entry...again, no explanation necessary.

I'm sorry that this entry isn't the best but this is all I got. So how about I post a video or something so your time isn't completely wasted.

6~ What is your idea of true love?

My idea of true love, huh?  I honestly have no idea.  I've been in love 2 1/2 times (for the half, read about my most recent love) and at 39 years old, I'm still not sure what love is all about.

I do know that I've been approaching this love thing all wrong.  For years, I've met guys that I could talk to about anything and everything but never saw them in "that" way.  I've used the brother or best friend line so many times, I could print up some business cards and pass them out with the tagline, "You're like a brother to me".  But what's wrong with falling in love with your best friend?  Who better to be in love with than someone that knows you inside out and upside down?

I currently don't have a male best friend...I have two close male friends that know a lot about me but they're attached...but the next guy that finds his way into the fold may very well be my Mr. Right.  And I won't be so foolish as to bypass the notion again...I hope.

5~ Favorite Romantic Movie

My favorite romantic movie.  I'm not the biggest romance lover out there but as soon as I saw this question, I knew which movie I would pick.

Have you ever seen a movie that touched you so much that you felt as if it was you in the movie?  Love and Basketball did that for me.  I wanted to be Monica.  Hell, I was Monica.  I was the tomboy.  I had a basketball hoop in my backyard as a kid.  She was about my age in the movie as it progressed.  I loved the same guy from high school and into college.  This movie felt like my life.

When Monica and Q broke up and she asked to play for his heart...*sigh*.  And when they play and Meshell Ndegeocello song "You Made A Fool Of Me" starts playing...*sigh again*.

4~ Favorite Love song...and why?

Favorite love song...hmmm.  I'm a lover of music so to pick just one isn't easy for me.  So I'm going to pick two. Why? Because I can. :)

1st favorite love song...Adore by Prince.  The first time I heard this song was at my godbrother, Heavy's wedding.  He serenaded his new bride on the dance floor at their reception.  The way he looked in her eyes as he was singing (and he has one of the best voices I've ever heard) and the way she was smiling at him just made me know that they were going to make it.  And the last I heard, they still were...I was 16 or 17 at the time.  But Prince himself does it for me anyway.

2nd favorite love song...Beauty by Dru Hill.  This song right here...*sigh*.  There are no words to describe how I feel when I hear this song.  The melody, the words, the voices...I'll just let them sing it and let you feel it.

3~ Last/Most Recent Love...what they meant/mean to you...

I really don't want to write about this at all because my most recent "love" doesn't deserve to be spoken about in any way but I made a commitment and therefore, I shall post.

My most recent "love" took place last year.  Dude I met on Yahoo 360 about 4 years ago.  Never paid him any mind back then but I would speak infrequently on his blogs and postings.  Fast forward to last year.  We were friends on Facebook and he posted a funny clip from his radio show and I commented and it started from there.

This niggum had a brilliant mind, a beautiful singing voice and the slickest tongue anyone could have ever imagined.  Made promises that I thought were true at the time and I fell for it hook, line and sinker. I truly thought this "man" loved me like no other but yet, it was all a facade.  A game that he played with me and countless others.

So it's asking me what they meant/mean to me.  Those are two different feelings.  In the midst of the "relationship", he was my world.  He was someone who changed my mind about marriage and my outlook on life.  Now, he could rot in hell for all I care.  But I will say that he taught me that everything that glitters ain't gold and every heart isn't sincere.  He also brought two very special people into my life and for all of that, I say thank you.

You still ain't shit, though.

2~ Best Love...what they meant/mean to you...

Best love.  Not really sure about this one.  I mean, each of my loves and love affairs had qualities that were better and different that the others but I'll just wing this one.

My best love was my 2nd husband.  Now, everything was far from perfect and we had issues that would have driven most people to divorce after year 2 but we made it work for almost 12 years. This man was my Superman.  He would tell anyone that while he was the brawn, I was the brain and together, you couldn't fuck with us. 6'4, 270lbs of dark chocolate and while he wasn't one to mess with, he had (and still has) the biggest heart and while he would fuss about doing things, he ultimately did them and I ultimately learned how to ignore his fussing.

Even though we aren't together any longer and we live about 2 hours away from each other,  if I need ANYTHING, he has my back and I have his.  All I have to do is call him and it's as good as done.  He's going through some health issues right now but he knows that if he were to call my phone at 3am, I'd be at his door not long afterwards. We still have love for each other but just couldn't live with each other and not everyone can.  But we know that no matter what happens, we're there for each other and that kind of unconditional love is rare.

So thank you KB for being a husband, a lover, a protector, a provider and a friend.

1~ First Love (of course!)...what they meant/mean to you...

Hello Blogger world!!  I've accepted another 30 day challenge hosted by one of my closest and dearest friends, The Kween, all about love!!  So I invite you to sit back and enjoy the journey into my love life (or lack thereof).

My first love...*sigh*...that brings back a lot of memories for me.  Fifteen years old, entering my sophomore year in high school, not knowing my head from my ass, and I met this guy who went to my school at a skating rink 2 years my senior.  We exchanged numbers and talked or saw each other everyday for the next 5 years (uncommon for teenagers).

This was a guy that showed me patience, showed me love, and even showed me how to scratch on the 1s and 2s...he was a DJ.  He treated me like a lady, even though I didn't realize it at the time.  We would actually date...movies, dinner, bowling, etc.  He taught me how to play video games (remember Tecmo Bowl?)  He taught me about sex, as he was my first.  He taught me about responsibility, as when I became pregnant at 18, he did any- and everything he had to do to make sure our child had everything she needed and some of what she wanted.  

This is a man that has been in my life for longer than any man not related to me has been...25 years and we are still friends today.  He celebrated his birthday yesterday so Happy Belated Birthday JW and I wish you all the happiness your heart can hold and as much happiness as you showed to me back then.