The End Has Come

Well, we made it. The last day of October is here which means the end of the blog challenge. I've enjoyed writing things that have been on my mind, even though the task wasn't easy. I'm happy to also report that I didn't call anyone out on any of my blogs directly, even though 1) I did speak about a few people that wouldn't recognize that they were being talked about even if their names were lighted up like a Broadway sign and 2) I really wanted to and could have.

All-in-all, this experience has been a good one. I got a few things off my chest, I got a few international readers (shout out to my Russian and Canadian readers), and most importantly, I completed what I started. I know my blogs aren't the news-filled, fact-finding blogs that some do, nor are they the gossiping, tell-all types but instead, they are just random thoughts that run through my mind. It's very true what they say...everyone has a story...and I've told mine in the way that I saw fit.

I'm not saying that I won't blog again, but unless something major comes to mind, I'll be hanging up my keyboard for awhile. So I thank you for coming along on my journey with me and I pray that peace and happiness are brought upon you and yours.

Maestro...cue my music...

Music Makes Me Lose Control

I grew up in a household where music was always being played. There was at least one radio in every bedroom (I got my first tv and stereo system for my room when I was three), and my father had 3 stereo or component sets, as they were called back in the day. He had one that played records and 8 tracks, one that just played records and one that just played 8 tracks.

I grew up listening to the music that my father played and he played them all. Everything from Dinah Washington to Aretha Franklin. From Brook Benson to Blood, Sweat and Tears. My father's taste ran the gamut. And it got me to thinking, whatever happened to GOOD music?

Music nowadays is nothing but words said or sung over a beat. There is absolutely no feeling to the music that's being played now. You have people that are selling millions of units, selling out concert venues and becoming millionaires, not because they necessarily sound good, but because they look good. And in some cases (*cough* T-Pain), neither is happening.

Speaking of T-Pain, what is really up with auto tune? I mean, Roger Troutman was a genius for using it because no one ever heard it before. But now, everyone that has access to recording equipment uses it, even if they have a nice voice. Please, for the sake of all mankind, let that shit go. If you have to use it, maybe you should be a behind the scenes person anyway because it clearly means that you are not sure of your talents.

In closing, I will say that I long for music with meaning. Love songs that really spoke about love. Party songs that made you want to get up and dance. Songs that, when you heard them, you'd say to yourself, "I know what you mean ________ (fill in blank with your favorite artist)" Until then, my radio will stay off and my Music Choice channel will stay on Classic Soul that play hits such as this:

Blog Blues

I must admit that I am in no mood to blog this evening.  I've just come home from my employer's annual awards banquet and I am more tired than a hooker doing a double shift at a Shriner's convention.  But I will also admit that I do feel guilty when I don't give my all to this challenge.  I made a commitment to do this and even though there's only two days left after this one, I'm spent.

I try to choose my topics carefully and my words even more carefully.  If I wrote each and everything I wanted to write, I would come off as bitter and unhappy about certain things and that's just not who I am or what I do.  I don't really care about hurting other people's feelings because this is my space to write what I want, but some things I would write about would make me look at myself as crazy, so I know a few of you would do the same.

But anyway, that's all I have for now.  I promise to try and make the next two blogs worthy of your time.  Good night, folks.

Blogging Under The Influence.

The God'ess is cruising the Information Superhighway at about 3 MPH because I've taken 2 sleeping pills and I'm waiting for them to kick in.  So while I was waiting, I thought I'd write whatever comes to mind.  I probably won't remember half of what I write but here goes...


1. Remember that list of qualifications that we all had about what kind of man we wanted when we were younger?  I've never been the gold digger, money hungry type but I did want Imaginary Man to make at least $100,000, driver a nice car  (BMW preferably), be over 6ft tall with the body of Adonis and a Mandingo dick. Now, I would be happy if Imaginary Man had a job (medical benefits nice but not mandatory), a car (one that's more reliable than that bucket of bolts I drive), height and weight not important and a Mandingo dick. 


2.  Speaking of cars, I've been looking for one and I've narrowed it down to something that goes vroom.  


3.  I was at work Tuesday, speaking to a member over the phone, and I asked him if there was anything else I could help him with.  He said, "Yes.  Have you seen Ray Charles' house".  I said no.  He said, "Neither has he." O_o

4.  I'm getting my hair done tomorrow and I'm getting a sew-in.  I haven't had one of those since 2000.  I'm excited about how it's going to turn out but of course, I'm nervous too.  If it looks half as good as Antoine Dodson's hair, I'm gonna be one fly diva at the banquet.


5.  These sleeping pills are making feel a bit nauseous.  


6.  Why is "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen one of the best songs ever written by anybody anywhere?


7.  Hell, why was Queen one of the best groups ever?


Guess I'll end it there, folks.  The pills are working and I must not waste my hard-earned money.  


Tootalooo mudda fuckaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas!

The Unblog

I've been busy today and I still have a few things to do before I go to bed, so I really don't have the time or the energy to blog. But I'll let Raheem tell you what I always have time for.

Good nite.

The Misadventures of My Mind

First, I would like to thank my DivaSis, Da~Kween, for taking over for me last night.  I was more tired than a runaway slave due to another bout of insomnia.  If you want some great insight on topics ranging from narcolepsy to relationships, head on over to her blog and peep out what she has to say.  I promise you, you won't be disappointed.

Next, I'm noticing the date on the calendar and I see that we only have a few more days of the blog challenge and I would be lying if I didn't say part of me feels relieved.  This was harder than I thought it would be and looking at some of my past blogs, I didn't really put as much effort into them as I would have liked.  Between time restraints and lack of topics, some of those things stink worse than 31-day old unwashed armpits and I can say that because I used to blog heavily and these were nothing like them. 

I used to write about sex...A LOT...and I wondered to myself why hadn't I done that here.  Well, it dawned on me...I'm not having sex like I used to (sucks to be me), so I don't talk about it much anymore.  Don't you despise folks that talk about shit that they have absolutely no clue about?  I mean, everyone has an opinion, but I'm speaking about those that are experts on EVERY DAMN THING, even though they haven't been through half the shit they're talking about.  You know the ones..."Yeah girl, that fool ain't givin' you no money and he's spending all of his time at work?  You should drop his ass not now, but right now."  All the while, her lonely, pathetic ass is sitting at home on a Friday night playing Solitaire on the computer and getting mad because she's losing.  Get The Fuck Outta Here!!

Now please don't think that I'm one of those bitter chicks that's mad because she's not getting as much as I used to.  Trust me, I'm not.  I'm enjoying getting to know who I am and what I like and don't like and what I will and won't put up with.  I'm readying myself for my king and I truly don't want to be used up like an old sponge.  But I'm at the point in my life that, while sex is great (I'm 39 and in the prime of my life so it's actually better than great), I want more.  I want a lasting relationship (marriage not necessarily necessary) and I want to give my all to someone who will appreciate, cherish and reciprocate.  Don't have me doing all the work because I'm not having that.

I know this post is all over the place.  I started off talking about blogs and ended up with relationships.  That's the way my mind works at times. That's another reason that I have insomnia...even when my body is at rest, my mind isn't.  But oh and well, this is my space to fill and I filled it.  Feel free to comment...or not.  I'll still love you anyway.  :-)

The Takeover

*looking around* (o_(o


*sitting in the God'ess' chair* 


*spinning around* ^_^


HAHA! I done took over!!


In case you haven't already figured it out...this isn't the God'ess. This is Da Kween :)


Yea, guys...my sis is TIDE! She's been in Insomnia-Land for a minute now, but tonight she's gonna try her damndest to envoke her goddess powers, turn them in on herself, and grant herself some rest. SO...


This is Kween...the God'ess is sleeping. Please enjoy this musical selection until the next blog. 


I love this song...one of my most slept on faves (no pun intended), Teedra Moses w/one of our favorite singers from the 90's, Raphael Saadiq.





...and a bonus smoothie from Jilly. I spotted sis "singing" this in her status the other night.




...Good night, God'ess :)

"Hello, is it me you're looking for..."

I was talking with a co-worker last night and she stated that a few of her family members and friends said that she should get a Facebook page.  She asked me what I got out of it and I told her that one of my main uses for it was to be able to interact with friends and family back home.  I also use it to interact with people that I met on other social networking sites.  She then posed the question, "What happened to people calling each other?"  And I got to thinking, what DID happen to people calling each other?

We have become a society spoiled by technology.  We want our food cooked faster.  We want people to be able to reach us, even while we're using the restroom.  We want our internet faster.  Hell, we want internet.  But being that we have all of this technology within reach, have we also become social snobs?  What happened to people getting together and talking or picking up the phone with the long ass cord that always got tangled up and talking to someone for hours and hours about absolutely nothing?

I also think that this "instant" society has a lot to do with why relationships aren't what they used to be. Remember when people used to meet at a public place, like a bar, grocery store, church or at a friend's house and you took the time to get to know someone through phone calls, visits, DATES and what have you?  Now, you can do everything online:  Meet, talk, even have a virtual date by watching a movie "together".  How impersonal is that?  Now, don't get me wrong...the internet is a great way to meet someone and get to know someone, especially when the pickings are slim in your everyday life.  But after you meet and get to know someone, what's wrong with getting together for a meal or a movie or just plain conversation like they did in the "olden" days? 

Maybe I'm asking too much.  Maybe I'm stuck in my ways and don't want to accept that things have changed.  Or maybe I feel that some things are worth working for and towards and a relationship, whether lover-to-lover, friend-to friend, or relative-to relative, fall into that category.  Or maybe I give us humans too much credit.  I guess my rose-colored glasses need cleaning.

God'ess Garble

Hi Ho Y'all.  Here's another random filler blog because, in all honesty, I GOT NUFFIN!

~Am I the only one that looks back on life and think, "With all of the people that have been easily influenced by television, movies and music, why didn't many people in my generation hurt, harm or kill themselves or others just by watching cartoons"?  Between "Tom and Jerry" and "Bugs Bunny", we could have easily set someone's feet on fire with firecrackers or slammed an anvil on someone's head.  But I guess we had better sense.

~Am I the only one that thinks that the "musical group" (and I use that term lightly) N.W.A. ruined not only rap, but R&B/Soul music with their misogynistic messages?  Yeah, I know that a lot of women bought into what they were saying and some even BECAME what they were saying, but how is that cute at all?

~Is it me or have men become wishy-washy, confused balls of non-energy that expect a woman to chase them instead of having to put in work and go after a woman's attention?  Lately, I've been a witness to a bunch of dudes sitting back, enjoying women going after them, and even after all that, NOTHING!  C'mon fellas.  You've got to do better than that.

~Why did I take my bra off in the car after leaving work instead of waiting until I got home?

~Is it me or have men become wishy-washy, confused balls of non-energy that expect a woman to chase them instead of having to put in work and go after a woman's attention?  Lately, I've been a witness to a bunch of dudes sitting back, enjoying women going after them, and even after all that, NOTHING!  C'mon fellas.  You've got to do better than that.  (Yes, I felt like posting this one twice).

Okay, I'm done for now.  Maybe I'll have something more fulfilling tomorrow.  Maybe my topic will be so grand and so mind-blowing, it will be nominated for some type of award.  Maybe the topic will change the way the world thinks.  Or maybe not. *shrugs*

Love is...

Love is...a tender kiss shared between lovers.

Love is...a deep stare shared between you and him/her with no sound except for the beating of each other's heart.

Love is...the smile that crosses your face when you get that unexpected call, email or text from that special someone.

Love is...that moment that your realize that you cannot live without her/him.

Love is...timeless, endless, effortless.

Love is...full of emotion, full of passion, full of life.

Love is...

Giving Thanks

Have you ever went to sleep with something on your mind and woke up the next day with that same thought? Last night before I went to sleep, I prayed (like I do most times) and afterwards, I started thinking about all the people and things I was thankful for and I woke up with that same frame of mind. So I thought I would share just what The God'ess is thankful for. Go ahead and click on the video and let that serve as a little background music while reading. *Please note that the following list is in no particular order.

First, I am thankful and grateful to the Almighty for allowing me to see another one of His days. As I think back over the years, I can't help but think of those that are no longer with us, for whatever reason, and I give thanks to God for deeming me worthy to be amongst the living one more day.

Next, I'm thankful for my personal Three Stooges, LaSean, 20; Damian, 16; and Keith, 12. Those 3 are the reasons that I do what I should and don't do what I shouldn't. It would be easy for me to sit here and say that my conscience leads me, and it does, to an extent. But honestly, whenever I'm faced with a dilemma, I think of my babies (yes, I know technically they're not babies, but they're my babies) and how what I do would still affect them and I try and make the right choice. I'm not saying it happens 100% of the time, but I'm not locked up or dead, so I must be on the right track.

I'm thankful that I've been given another chance to begin again. My life story is one that has many twists and turns and I've been on the road to nowhere more times than I would like to admit. But through God's grace, determination and a bit of stubbornness, I'm able to say, with absolute certainty, that while the environment that you grew up in has a lot to do with how a person turns out, it doesn't necessarily HAVE TO determine where you end up.

I'm thankful for a group of the greatest friends that a Diva could ever have. I have a tremendous support system and each person that I interact with, whether realistically or virtually, has left a mark on my life that will never be erased. I could name names but I'm sure I would leave someone out and it is not my intention to slight anyone in any way. So I'll just say I love you to my VA fam, my NC fam, my 360 fam, my Facebook fam, and my Twitter fam (even though I'm not on there as much).

I'm thankful that I have one of the greatest men in my life and that he loves me unconditionally throughout whatever. He stuck by me when others turned their backs on me, he's listened to me bitch and complain about absolutely nothing and even when I didn't deserve it, he never gave up on me. I love you, Daddy. *That's "daddy" as in father, btw.

And lastly, I'm thankful for all of the troubled times and hurtful situations that I've been through. My absolute favorite quote is, "That which does not kill you makes you stronger" and I am a living testimony to that. I have tried to not make a habit of asking, "why me" and instead I say, "it's just my turn". We all go through things in life that test our faith and abilities but when we make it out, we should have learned something about the situation so we know what to and what not to do if it happens again. So I'm blessed that I've made it thus far with only a few scratches, bumps and bruises (mainly on my heart, but elsewhere as well) and I'm grateful that I get to try it again.

So that's my short list of things I'm thankful for. There are many more I could add to it but I'll save those for my talks with the Almighty. Be blessed, folks and don't forget to be thankful for what you've got.

You Don't Speak For Me

There's a YouTube video called "Black Marriage Negotiations" that's making its way all over the world wide web.  If you haven't seen it, take a look at it here.

For those who have seen it and for those that (gasp) believe it, allow me to set some of the record straight:

1.  Not ALL black women think, feel, or talk this way.  When I say talk, I don't mean the robotic tone they are giving off.  I mean the way Robot Sister double-speaks and contradicts herself continuously throughout this whole segment.  Not all black women feel as though a man should be a certain height, weight, make over X amount of dollars or whatever other crazy notion Robot Sister was speaking about.

2.  I've heard women of other races say these very things, so in my opinion, the title of the video is misleading.  I've watched "The Housewives of...(place your favorite bourgeois city here)" and my Caucasian counterparts are just as money-hungry and demanding, if not more so, than we are.  I'm sure that Kobe's, Tiger's and any other celebrity with a Caucasian mate were chosen because they were great guys with great personalities.  Their income and status had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with why these women fell in love with them.

*blank stare*

3.  Women DO want a strong, supportive man that will take care of them but that doesn't necessarily mean monetarily.  Most women that I personally know want to know that their men have their backs.  That their men honor and cherish them AND are willing to show reciprocity to them.  We don't expect our men to carry the full load by themselves.  We want a partnership but do want our men to take the lead.  I've heard it time and time again.  Men say that women don't let men be men.  How in the blue hell can we stop you from your birthright?  Don't blame us because you came up short in something that should have been instilled in you since the day you were born.

I guess I'll stop ranting and raving now.  Please don't think I disagree with the video as a whole because I do know quite a few women that do sound a lot like Robot Sister.  But don't place us all in a box.  Good black women, just like good black men, do exist.  You just have to be willing to do your research and find them.

Eulogy For A Friend

Most people on my fb friend list know that I am vehicularly-challenged (yes, I made it up) and I'm in desperate need of another vehicle.  The car I drive now is on its last leg...so much so that if I were to put a bullet in it, it would probably thank me in Japanese for putting it out of its misery.

My current car is a '96 Nissan Maxima with 1,000,000 miles on it.  Okay, it doesn't have that many but I can't tell you how many it does have because the odometer broke years ago.  The leather seats look like they have been through WWIII...and lost...and the carpet?  Please don't get me started on that.  But I loved that car with everything in me.   

I guess that I'm having a hard time letting her go.  Pearl (her name and her color) is like family.  She's been there through storms, hail, snow, sleet, football, baseball and basketball practices, took me to NC with a loaded trunk and back seat and hell, she lasted longer than my marriage did.  So it pains me to say goodbye to her even though I know she's tired.  She's told me she's tired.  She's left me stranded more than once. She's resorted to refusing to go outside of the city limits.  She's even cut off on me in the middle of the street while she was still in motion.  Rotten ass Japanese import Beautiful pearl white god'ess. 

So I guess it's time for me to look for a replacement for Pearl.  One that will allow me to go up and down the highways and byways of life without worrying when it will cut off on me.  So wish me luck and if anyone has any suggestions (keep in mind, I'm broke and cheap), let me know.  

I thank you, and I'm sure Pearl does too. 

An Open Letter To A Former Friend

To Whom It May Concern;

I've been thinking about writing this for awhile now but it just never seemed to be the right time.  I would either get bogged down with other things I was tending to or I just didn't feel like taking the time to do it.  But I do believe that the time is now and the place is here.

First, I want you to know that I now know who you truly are.  I know that even though you came across as a strong, intelligent adult, your character and actions say that you are neither one.  You're definitely a child trying to play dress-up.  Trying to get those around you to believe your hype. Hoping that the real you doesn't shine through because if it did, people would know that you were just a mere man standing behind the curtain operating some type of "magical" machinery, making promises that you had no intentions of keeping.

Next, I want you to know that this game that you're playing with different women's hearts will only backfire on you.  I hope you don't think that ALL of the females you came across would stay broken and crumbled by your actions, or lack thereof.  Chile please.  My background won't allow me to sit around for too long and wonder and wait and cry over someone that couldn't even be true to themselves, let alone me or the countless other women you tried to play.  I've been through worse things with better people so you couldn't break me if you tried.

Finally, and I want you to really pay attention to this, I forgive you.  I refuse to sit here and allow hate to fester in my heart.  I refuse to allow one negative thought to cross my mind and/or my heart where you're concerned because I know that I'm better than that.  I know that for some strange reason, you can't help but to do what you do.  It's like an illness and I pray that you get help for it soon before someone that's not as nice as I am comes and hurts you for what you've done.  I can't help but pity you and your state of mind right now.  I just hope the best for you and hope that one day, you'll realize your true worth and get your shit together.  But until then, I pray for your safety and your peace of mind because that's really what you need right now.

Sincerely yours,

A Former Friend.

HELP!!!

I feel like I'm a prisoner of my own fate. I am living one mundane, simplistic, boring ass life and not that those things can't be good, but I've been living this way for almost two years and as of right now, there's no end in sight.

I moved to North Carolina on January 31, 2009 with nothing but a lot of clothes and an Obama card (that's an EBT card for y'all not in the know). When I got here, a feeling of dread hit me hard as hell but I decided to shake it off and I told myself that this was just a temporary situation and I'd be back in Virginia within 9 months.

21 months later, I'm still here. O_o.

I feel stuck. I was told by my father that I wasn't allowed to leave until he took his last breath. Not that I want to think about him passing away but my grandmother lived to be 96 years old. That means that if my father lived to be that age, I'd be stuck here for at least another 16+ years. O_O!!!!

I also made a conscious decision not to become involved in a relationship with anyone here due to circumstances beyond my control. If you read the blog I wrote about my humble beginnings on this Earth (wait...what do you mean you didn't read it?? Well, I'm not going to make it easy for you by linking it. Go look. I'll wait..............), you'd remember that I spoke very little about my sperm donor, DJ. Well, DJ was sperm donor to quite a few people in this area. So much so that it's estimated that I have approximately 18 siblings that I've never met. So I chose not to date anyone from this area because I could easily end up dating a brother, cousin or nephew and that's not a good look no matter how you spin it.

So it's just me here in NC (my daughter goes to college in VA and my 2 sons are in school there as well. The school system here sucks donkey ass and I refuse to see my kids suffer because of it). My life consists of home, work and shopping at Walmart, even though I try hard as hell to stay away from Satan's Superstore as much as possible.

And this is why I'm in a rut. Sometimes, I daydream about moving back to VA or to another city where everything doesn't close at 9pm. And sometimes, I daydream about the Old Spice dude picking me up on his horse and carrying me away from here. But that's another blog...or a therapy session...waiting to happen. But for now, well, I'll let Akon finish this for me.

Easy like Sunday morning.

Sundays...my absolute favorite day of the week.  Well, it was until I had to start working on that day. Sundays are meant be relaxing days, days that you do what you want to do, even if that means doing nothing at all.  Sunday is...

• that day of the week where you can wake up slowly and casually and if you choose to do so, roll right back over and go back to sleep.
• that day of the week where you can get up, get dressed and go to a church service and receive the Word. 
• that day of the week where you can grab a croissant, a glass of mimosa and clip coupons out of the newspaper while listening to Kem playing in the background.*
• that day of the week where you can hit Starbucks for a Cafe Mocha Grande or some other unnecessarily named, high priced coffee and then go to Barnes and Noble's, grab a book that interests you and sit there until closing time and just peruse the pages.  And if you're really lucky, you'll go to a Barnes and Noble's that has their own coffee/pastry bar.*
• that day of the week that you cook the biggest meal you can think of and eat off of it for the rest of the evening while watching a Lifetime movie that wouldn't normally catch your attention.
• that day of the week, during football season, that you can cheer for your favorite team and tease those that are Cowboys fans.  (Sorry, I had to throw that in there.)
• that day of the week that you spend with your family doing whatever brings a smile to your face*

So, that's what Sunday means to me.  I can't enjoy them like I used to, so to those that have that day off, please enjoy it for those of us that don't.  The ones marked by an asterisk are my favorite things so could someone do those things and allow me to live vicariously through you? 

Thanks in advance.

Top Seven Fears of The God'ess

I tried thinking of 10 things I fear but I couldn't, therefore, it's only 7 things.

*In My David Letterman voice*...

7.  Birds...any type of animal that has wings will fit into this category.  I have a cousin that actually had her eye plucked out by a chicken that she was messing with.  Simple ass.

6.  Snakes...I've actually held a boa constrictor while someone else was holding the head but just to see one slither across the road (which is highly likely in the area that I live) will cause some confusion in my life. 

5.  Drowning...now let me say that I'm not afraid of water and I know how to swim but I've actually almost drowned in the ocean at Myrtle Beach because another cousin of mine tricked me into getting on to a raft and then pushed me out of it.  Simple ass.

4.  Fear of speaking in public places...this one sort of baffles me because I used to speak in front of large crowds when I was younger. But I suppose the older you get, the more you become less sure of certain things.  Which brings me to...

3.  Roller coasters...again, when I was younger, you couldn't keep me off them.  If it went upside down, backwards, and had you swinging like a monkey in a tree, I was on it.  I remember going to Six Flags in Maryland when I was a teenager and getting on some ride that looked like a pirate ship and had you suspended upside down for what seemed like an eternity but couldn't have been more than 5 seconds.  I wanted to ride that thing all day.  Now?  Shiiiiid.

2.  Mice and rats...there is something about those sneaky bastards that will have me crying in a minute.  I remember living in a house in Richmond and killing not two or three mice, but 19 of those mother fuckers.  Even Mickey, Minnie and the rest of that damn Disney family can get the trap.

And the number one thing The God'ess fears *drum roll*..........

1.  The Burger King Dude.  Must I really explain why?

October is...

Most of us know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month and I hope that my people have been checking for lumps and abnormalities in their chestal areas...yes men, you too can get breast cancer.  But October is also Domestic Violence Awareness month and this issue is one that needs to be brought to the forefront as well. 

I could easily lay some frightening statistics in front of you about domestic violence but I will leave that to the experts at the Domestic Violence Resource Center (http://www.dvrc-or.org/domestic/violence/resources/C61/ ).  I could show pictures of those that have been affected by domestic violence but you can Google those images for yourself.  

I guess all that really needs to be said is if you or someone you know is involved in a domestic violence situation, please get help.  Call 911, your local police department or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE and know that you're not alone.   This message has been brought to you by me because...I've been there. 

Settle Down, Settle Down.

I was visiting a friend's page on Facebook last night when I was supposed to be sleeping and he asked the question should ladies settle when you're younger, older or never?  Now being who I am and having an opinion on EVERYTHING, I just had to answer.  I do think that more younger people settle than older people because when you're younger, you think that you NEED a relationship.  When you get over a certain age, you find that a relationship is nice but not required. 

I will admit that before, I have settled in relationships.  I figured that this dude came up to me, talked somewhat okay and wasn't that hard to look at, so I'd give him a chance.  I will also admit that from age 15-38, I've always had some type of "relationship", whether it was boyfriend/girlfriend, marriage, purely physical or in the last case (which I really don't count but it did take up time in my life and it did mean something at the time), virtual.  But recently, I've realized that a relationship with the opposite sex isn't necessary.  It's nice, but I'm not out here trying to scoop up someone because that's what I'm used to.  Yes, I've had feelings for people and it didn't work out the way I wanted it to but I'm not sitting at home with a gallon of ice cream, crying over what could have been.  I figured either the timing was off, the person wasn't right for me or I wasn't right for them.  Such is life. 

But there are people out there that will settle for someone, even at an older age, because they figure that their time is running down and their options are few and far between.  What the hell is that about?  Isn't it better to be alone and wait for someone that complements you than to say, "oh well, this person showed up, no one else has. Might as well do this"?  I understand that no one likes to be lonely.  But how does one know that as soon as one settles for Mr. or Ms. Eh that Mr. or Ms Right won't come along?  Here you sit, miserable because you couldn't enjoy being single and the right person comes along and you miss them.  Sucks to be you. 

So, here I am, single and alone, and I'm okay with that because I know that one day, Mr. Right is going to come in and swoop me off my feet.  I will have waited patiently and studied diligently and know that he is the one that I've been wanting to share my life with and he will know it too.  And if he doesn't, sucks to be him. 

Constipation of the Brain

This blogging challenge has become a little more than I bargained for.  I'm only on day 13 and my mind is dry. I know that when a person blogs, they're giving opinions about subjects that they care about and I am usually a passionate person when it comes to certain things but right now, I can't muster up the energy to even pretend to care. 

I have been in a funky mood these past few days and I don't know whether it has to do with the changing of the weather or the days getting shorter or that I'm not getting it in like I want to (yes, almost every conversation comes down to sex for me. Sue me.)  Maybe it's because this is the first October that I've spent alone in 12 years. Or maybe it's that if I was in my hometown, I could find something to do on a regular basis, whereas here, the highlight of my night is getting through the line at Walmart within 5 minutes. . 

Regardless of the reason, this is the best I could come up with.  Yes, I know I've ended many sentences with prepositions and being an English/grammar lover, I should not do that.  But if you read the last 11 words of the first paragraph, that about sums up what I think about it.

Untitled

I have absolutely nothing to write about so I thought I'd take you on a journey through my day.  So sit back, relax and get ready to feel pity for me because while I usually don't want folks to feel that way for me, I deserve it today.

Today has been the day from hell.  I woke up with the worst headache and felt a bit drunk even though I hadn't had anything to drink the night before.  I laid back down and fell back asleep and still had the headache when I woke up again. So I press on, get ready for work and it hits me...I haven't had any caffeine for 4 days or longer. 

So I get the biggest bottle of Mountain Dew I could find at the corner store and down that quickly.  Headache starts going away until 4pm when the computer system at work crashes.  We have to manually take call information from members and manually give the information to towing facilities, which ultimately causes major backlog.  This goes on for about 5 hours and so does my headache.  Did I mention that during the midst of all this chaos, I get a case of the sniffles because even though it's warm outside, inside it's about 3 degrees?  No?  Well, I did. 

Things have finally slowed down and my head no longer hurts but my shoulders and back are killing me.  I could really use a day at the spa.  A manicure, pedicure, massage of all areas of the body and while I'm there, I might as well get a few things waxed (but that's a whole different story).  But right now, I'd settle for a hot bubble bath with candles lit, soft music playing and the biggest glass of wine in the history of glassware. 

Damn that...I'll just buck the bottle.

All I Really Want Is To Be Happy

Again, I had another blog that I was working on but due to unforeseen circumstances, I decided to switch it up again.  

Today, I want to talk about hating on someone's happiness. There have been quite a few instances on Facebook and Twitter and other social networking sites where one party has expressed their love for someone and some sad ass sack comes in and tries to spread their diseased-infested nonsense about how lame it is.  Then when the sad ass sack is confronted, they get defensive and go more on a tangent about how terrible the in love party is.   

REALLY?  Is that what we do nowadays when someone we know has found love?  Shiiiiiiid, I'm trying to get what they got and hope that it rubs off on me.  Folks that wallow in self-pity and have no life of their own need to go out and search for what makes them happy, not what makes others miserable.  My friend, Thadd said it best, "There is enough life here for all.....get some...please".  

So I challenge those that are lifeless, hopeless and just plain bitter to go out and find some business of your own to tend to.  Hell, the world is a huge place.  I'm sure there is something out there that would bring a smile to your face and a song to your heart.  But on the off chance you can't do that, at least leave those that are happy alone and we'll make sure to reciprocate the process. 

Sometimes, Silence Is Golden

When I took this 31-day, 31 blog challenge, I knew that I would be in for a hot mess.  As I stated in a previous blog, I hadn't blogged since my Yahoo 360 days and I was 4 years younger then. My mind was sharper.  Things bothered me a lot more than they do now.  Plus, I was an unemployed housewife with nothing but time on my hands.

Now that I'm a little older, my mind doesn't work as quickly as it used to do.  I realized that I don't have to have an opinion on everything and even if I do, I DEFINITELY don't have to speak on it. I'm also back in the workforce and I work terrible hours so my time for blogging is cut short except on my days off.

But since I brought it up, allow me to speak on those that speak on everything.  You know the type...people that always have something to say even when no one is addressing them.  Or those that always share their two cents about a topic that doesn't affect them whatsoever. I really would like to tell them that it's okay to STFU every now and again. Not every question has to be answered.  Not every comment needs a response.  Sometimes, the smartest thing a person can say is absolutely nothing. Filler only works in written form (like I did at the top of this blog) and even then, it's not always necessary.  But I digress.

If you are one of those people that must always hear themselves talk, allow me to give you a small piece of friendly advice.  Save that shit for the shower.  Talk to yourself all you want in the mirror.  Speak as nonsensically as you want in your car on your way to wherever you go because everything is not for everyone and that includes conversation.

Taking a sick day

I just don't have it in me to blog because I'm not feeling my best this evening.  I'm as cold as a penguin, my breasts are tender and I have a stomachache that would knock Fat Bastard to his knees.  So pardon me as I take the night off.  I'll try to come up with something dazzling tomorrow...but I'm not making any promises.

If You're Desperate and You Know It...

I had a whole other blog topic that I was going to write but I think I'll save that for later.  I just saw something on facebook that I've been seeing for awhile and it needs to be brought to light.  Now, if this does not apply to you, cool.  This posting isn't about everyone.  But I'm quite sure we all know at least one person that falls into this category.

Ladies, why must you like and comment on each and every little thing your man says on fb?  Or worse yet, why must you seem a tad bit pathetic and baby-fied (yes, I made it up) when you're trying to get the attention of a dude on fb?  If I see one more "kissy" or "boo-boo-kins" or some other desperate attempt to make a man notice a female, I'm going the hell off right there, on site.  Hell, I can't embarrass you any more than you've already embarrassed yourself so I'm going all in with it.

Are some women that hard up that they have to act overbearing and not be mindful that they look like total and complete asses when they go overboard with that mess?  I refuse to believe that because I can already hear some of you saying to your partner in crime, "Would you look at Flicka over there throwing herself at that man?  It's obvious he doesn't want her so why is she doing it?"  Uh huh...pot, meet kettle.  Stop being so damn accessible and so damn easy.

Now back to the whole liking everything your man does on fb.  I'm all for being supportive of your mate.  I believe that you should stand with your man in whatever endeavors he takes and he should do the same for you.  But for you to sit there and like the comment, "I just took a shit and it came out a foot long" has less to do with you supporting him and more to do with you stalking him.  You're actually trying (and failing, by the way) to make it known that this is your man and wanting to make an appearance wherever he is. Please stop. Your desperation is ringing through loud and clear.  We get it.  He's yours.  I promise you, no one wants him...especially after he's been dealing with you.

Well, I've cleared the air.  I sort of went on a personal tangent towards the end but hey, this is my blog and I'm allowed to do such.

The REAL Me

I've been writing on this site for 7 days and I realized that not many people know who the real Maria is.  Only a few people know my life story and I feel that it's a worthy enough story to share so sit back, grab a drink and let me take you on a little journey into my life.

I was born September 22, 1971 in Roanoke Rapids, NC--my current city of residence, but not what I consider my hometown--to Lillian Hargrove.  My sperm donor, DJ Jones, was never in the picture and won't be in this story very much. Now, when I was born, Maria wasn't the name given to me.  I didn't get that name until two years later, by my adopted parents, James and Mary Alston (see the correlation...Mary...Maria), who was the brother and sister in-law of Lillian.  Anyhoo, my birth name (which I still despise to this day) was Virginia Marie Hargrove. Ugh.

I guess I'm jumping ahead in the story so allow me to backtrack but skip some unimportant parts of the story.  Let me tell you how I became to be an adopted child.  My birth mother, sperm donor and one of my birth sisters, Sarah were walking home from the store one day and there was a man that had a crush on my mother.  He saw her walking with DJ and became enraged.  Apparently, he decided that if he couldn't have her, no one could so he took a shotgun, pointed it out the window of his house and shot my mother (who was pregnant with me at the time) and my sperm donor. The bullet hit my mother in the head but thankfully, didn't kill her.  It did, however cause her to go blind.  Social Services determined that there was no way that she could take care of a newborn, my grandparents, with whom my mother lived, were too old to take care of me, so my uncle and aunt decided that they would take me before I was born.

So on September 23, 1971, I was brought to Richmond, VA and was molded into the God'ess you see today.  There's a lot more to the story but I really don't like speaking about it.  But I will say that I'm grateful to God, James and Mary (R.I.P.) for allowing me to experience life as I know it.  And I thank God for Lillian (R.I.P) for allowing them to raise me.

I'm done.

From The Mind of a Mad Woman

I've just finished eating a meal that was fit for a queen and three court jesters so my mind has turned to mush.  In light of that fact, I have some random, crazy questions that are just bouncing around my tiny brain and could use some help with the answers.  Ready?

1.  If one has sex outdoors, what is the probability that some type of critter would crawl into a warm crevice?

2.  If a woman's breast milk can taste like whatever it is that she's eaten, why doesn't cow's milk taste like grass?

3.  Why do monkeys incessantly scratch their asses and then proceed to sniff their fingers and why does everyone know at least one person that does the same thing?

4.  Why am I still thinking about that giraffe's tongue that I fed at the zoo about 5 years ago?  Do you think he thinks about me?

5.  Why in the hell do people spend good money on cottage cheese?  Do they not know what it is?

Okay, I'm tired now.  Feel free to explain in detail.  But don't use big words.  My tiny brain can't handle it.

Random BS from The God'ess

Since I have absolutely nothing to blog about today (and I'm off to a REALLY late start), I just thought I'd type until I was tired and see how the end result comes out.

Okay, I'm still having trouble just thinking of ANYTHING, let alone a real topic to write about.  I'm sitting here at work, bored as a b*tch, wishing I was somewhere else...anywhere else.  Like, home, getting it in with a sexy Latino dude while he whispers sweet nothings in my ear in Spanish.  Or on a warm beach, drinking an adult beverage out of a coconut while a cute little cabana boy sashays away in the tiniest Speedo possible.  Or in a cabin in the mountains, with the fireplace roaring, sipping some hot cider, gazing into the eyes of a hot Barbadian, whose skin color could rival a Hershey bar, while he's playing the guitar and serenading me.  Or better yet, having all three of those dudes at my favorite hideaway, (I can't tell you where that is because then, you'd be able to find me), having their way with me and me allowing them to do so.

But yet, here I sit in front of this computer, freezing my ass off in this cold building, waiting for the clock to strike 12 and knowing that when I get home, there is no sexy Latino, cute cabana boy or hot Barbadian within a 100 mile radius.  * le sigh*

A random post about me. Borrowed from my friend, David. Day 4 of 31

1. whats your name spelt backwards? airaM.

2. What did you do last night? Worked, came home, talked on the phone...all usual things

3. The last thing you downloaded onto your computer? A pic of my son

4. Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery? Yep...I kinda like that cool feeling it gives to the tongue. 

5. Last time you swam in a pool? Two years ago in Virginia Beach

6. What are you wearing? A T-shirt and sweatpants.

7. How many cars have you owned? Damn...lemme think...8 or 9

8. Type of music you dislike most? Opera

9. Are you registered to vote? no

10. Do you have cable? yep. Such a waste of money.

11. What kind of computer do you use? Toshiba laptop

12. Ever made a prank phone call? Of course

13. You like anyone right now? I like a lot of people.

14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? HELL NO!!!!!

15. Furthest place you ever traveled? Puerto Rico

16. Do you have a garden? Nope

17. What's your favorite comic strip? Don't have one

18. Do you know all the words to the national anthem? yes.

19. Shower, morning or night? both

20. Best movie you've seen in the past month? Takers

21. Favorite pizza toppings? Sausage and extra cheese

22. Chips or popcorn? Chips

23. What cell phone provider do you have? Verizon...and they suck monkey balls

24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells? O_o...da hell?

25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? No

26. Orange Juice or apple? Orange

27. Who were the last people you sat at lunch with? Kelyia and Tootie

28. favorite chocolate bar? Milky Way

29. Who is your longest friend and how long? Sheree Slater...over 35 years

30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? Not a fan

31. Have you ever won a trophy? Yep

32. Favorite artist? Too many to list

33. Favorite computer game? None

34. Ever ordered from an infomercial? Yep

35. Sprite or 7-UP?  Sprite...

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work? Yep...worked at Burger King for exactly one day.

37. Last thing you bought at Walgreens? Orange juice

38. Ever thrown up in public? of course

39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love? Love is overrated...gimme the scrilla

40. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yeah...still overrated

41. Can exes just be friends? I'm friends with most of my exes.

42. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? Tootie

43. Did you have long hair as a young kid? Yeah

44. What message is on your voicemail machine? The standard one that gives the phone number.

45. Where would you like to go right now? Anywhere but work.

46. What was the name of your first pet? Blackie...half German Shepard, half collie.

47. What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it? 
I don't own one.

48. Last incoming/outgoing call on your phone? I spoke to my friend, Jeff

49. What is one thing you are grateful for today? My unbelievable circle of family and friends

50. What do you think about most? Leaving the current state I live in.