Day 13 -- A Christmas Day Memory

I'm sure most people's memories in this Christmas Day challenge will be all sweet and loving with pics of food and family and gifts. And yeah, my memory contains family and gifts, but it was more funny/pitiful than loving and merry. 

Every year for Christmas, we would go to my mother's "mother's" house. I put her in quotes because she was actually my mother's older cousin that raised her and her two sisters after my grandmother died in childbirth. The house would be filled with my aunts, uncles, cousins, family friends, etc. I think this year was the first year I brought my then-boyfriend but I really can't remember. 

Anyway, most people know that my father's birthday is also on Christmas Day, so he would get 2 gifts from everyone except from my great aunt...the elder of the family. But she usually would give very nice gifts to everyone. One year, I remember her and my uncle giving me a beautiful black doll that I kept until I moved into my 2nd apartment and she was damaged when my basement flooded. 

But back to the story. Like I said, she would normally give great gifts to everyone.  Most times, she'd give cologne or ties or something like that to the men of the family. So she gives my father his gift. It's wrapped nicely...bow included...and just looking at the shape of the box, you would have thought it was a tie or socks or handkerchiefs...right?  

Wrong!! After unwrapping the gift, inside was this...

I looked at my dad, my dad looked at that box and played it off well. "Aww...thank you", he said. I'm still looking at him but I know he's about to look at me and he does and I lose it! I excuse myself and go to the back bedroom and fall the fuck out laughing!! I stayed in the back for a few minutes to compose myself and come back out when it's time to eat. 

So we're all at the dinner table and one of my mom's sisters is sitting next to me and right before dessert is served, my aunt whispers to me, "should we crack open your dad's gift for dessert? If we split each one in 3, it should be enough for everyone." Sweet tea comes out of my nose, I get "the look" from my mom, I pointed at her sister and had to excuse myself once again. 

So that is my Christmas memory. Oh...the next morning, my father warmed one up in the microwave and ate it as he drank his coffee...mumbling and cussing under his breath the whole time.