Friday, October 1, 2010

What Had Happened Was...

What's good fam? It's your girl, Maria back on the blogging scene after many years.  I was asked by one of my closest and dearest friends to participate in a 31 day, 31 blog challenge and I have to admit, I really wanted to say no because while I used to blog on Yahoo 360 on a regular, I felt that I'd lost my touch and my audience. There were many questions that entered my mind:  What would I write about?  Who would my audience be?  Could I captivate a new set of blogger enthusiasts or would my typed words be dry and boring?  But after speaking with My Kween, I decided that even if no one read it, I could use this space as therapy and venting.  So sit back, relax and come along on a journey through my ever-thinking mind...or not. 

The topic I would like to touch upon today has been ringing loudly through my mind in recent weeks.  A few of my DivaSisters and I happened to be in a funk, if you will.  Summer had ended and fall had come in with a vengeance. It went from being warm, bright and sunny to 4 straight days of rain in my area and I was starting to feel gloom setting in.  The discussion ranged from wearing fall clothing, to listening to sad music, to the always popular topic of men.  My DivaSis, Kali, posted a Keke Wyatt video on her facebook page called "Never Give Up"  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKajnyJy4Dk and the song speaks about never giving up on love.  The song, while beautiful, did little to lift my spirits but it did make me wonder what happened...

What happened to GENTLEMEN taking LADIES out on dates?

What happened to GENTLEMEN making the first move and approaching LADIES?

What happened that made sitting around on a dude's couch watching some rerun on television an acceptable way to court a female?

Now, I know that some people will automatically say that the economy is tough and that money is short but the last time I checked, taking a walk in the park was free.  Having a picnic was free.  So the money issue doesn't get very far with me.  

Ladies, why have we made it so easy for some dudes to just say a few vague words and we give them our all?  On what day did we start accepting a man to just go through the motions without any real thought behind it?  Why have we stopped putting our best foot forward and started saying, "Oh well, he wants to get it in with me so that must mean he loves me."  Gentlemen, what did we ladies do to make you think that we'd settle for whatever it was that you were peddling?  What made you give up on us so easily?

I know I may never get the answers that I'm seeking.  Hell, I've asked myself these questions and for the life of me, can't come up with anything.  But it's time to start demanding more out of our potential partners and stop settling for the okey doke.  


6 comments:

Thee_Kween said...

I want to know the answer myself, Diva. What I don't think a lot of men understand is, that part of being a woman is knowing that we're desired. If a man never says those words or goes out of his way to let us know we're someone they're interested in...I believe it affects the way we view love and dating.

If you get answers...please forward them to me? Please and Thanks.

Welcome back to the blogging world!!

The God'ess said...

I hope you have nothing but time on your hands because I think we'll be waiting forever. *sigh*

And thank you Kweenie. My first outing felt good.

S.O.A.P. said...

U know, I have been guilty of that 'settling' sh** more times than I care to admit. It's soooo not sexy, so I'll chalk it to 15 mins of foolishness. I mean we should all be entitled to a mistake here and there, without beating ourselves up about it.
At any rate, I know that I've settled in the past because of self esteem and loneliness issues and whereas I am not proud of it, AT LEAST I KNOW WHY. Sad to say, I think men take advantage of these 'common' issues with women and they READILY take what LAZILY have not worked for and know that their asses don't deserve. Hey, our bad for not demanding more.
At any rate, no beating up on them or ourselves, KNOWING better is the first step toward DOING better.
My two cents............

GREAT BLOG DIVA! U have NOT lost your touch at all!!

The God'ess said...

You're right...there's no reason to beat up on them or ourselves. It's just time to straighten up.

Thanks Diva. Only 30 more to go. LOL

Thaddeus said...

Not to say this of all women but it happens more often than not. The guy who takes the time to open the door, buys the meaningful gifts, takes her out, shows strong interest, this is the guy who gets little to half the interest thug lovin' gets!! For what ever reason, the guy with the work boots and lose strings hanging as well as the pants, will get the action, while the guy who really wants her gets a honrable mention! (btw, the workboots are a prop) lol
love the blog Maria

The God'ess said...

You know what, Thadd? I cannot argue with this. I will say that I was one of those chicks that liked the gangsta look when I was younger. But that was a phase and I'm past that. But we women have brought a lot of this on ourselves but it's not too late to get back to basics.