Saturday, October 16, 2010

Top Seven Fears of The God'ess

I tried thinking of 10 things I fear but I couldn't, therefore, it's only 7 things.

*In My David Letterman voice*...

7.  Birds...any type of animal that has wings will fit into this category.  I have a cousin that actually had her eye plucked out by a chicken that she was messing with.  Simple ass.

6.  Snakes...I've actually held a boa constrictor while someone else was holding the head but just to see one slither across the road (which is highly likely in the area that I live) will cause some confusion in my life. 

5.  Drowning...now let me say that I'm not afraid of water and I know how to swim but I've actually almost drowned in the ocean at Myrtle Beach because another cousin of mine tricked me into getting on to a raft and then pushed me out of it.  Simple ass.

4.  Fear of speaking in public places...this one sort of baffles me because I used to speak in front of large crowds when I was younger. But I suppose the older you get, the more you become less sure of certain things.  Which brings me to...

3.  Roller coasters...again, when I was younger, you couldn't keep me off them.  If it went upside down, backwards, and had you swinging like a monkey in a tree, I was on it.  I remember going to Six Flags in Maryland when I was a teenager and getting on some ride that looked like a pirate ship and had you suspended upside down for what seemed like an eternity but couldn't have been more than 5 seconds.  I wanted to ride that thing all day.  Now?  Shiiiiid.

2.  Mice and rats...there is something about those sneaky bastards that will have me crying in a minute.  I remember living in a house in Richmond and killing not two or three mice, but 19 of those mother fuckers.  Even Mickey, Minnie and the rest of that damn Disney family can get the trap.

And the number one thing The God'ess fears *drum roll*..........

1.  The Burger King Dude.  Must I really explain why?

7 comments:

S.O.A.P. said...

Even Mickey, Minnie and the rest of that damn Disney family can get the trap.
I think I wet myself!!!! TOO DAMN FUNNY!!
I'm only afraid of snakes. To see one in person would cause more than confusion in my life, we'd be talking potential STROKE/H.A. :-(
Not crazy about coasters, but I might get on, might not. Who's to say?

The God'ess said...

Remind me to bring some Depends for your ass when we go out of town...LOL.

Afrodeezha said...

I'm with you on every one except #4. As long as I have time to write down what I have to say, I'm good. If I have to wing it, I'm doing a lot of stammering and probably repeating and my face gets hot and I get choked up.

Thee_Kween said...

MAN!! I'm with you on 6, 5, FOUR FOR DAMN SURE, 3, and ONE! O_O

I'm not so much scared of mice...I don't like them nasty muhfuckas. Rats? Well them dudes are HUGE so YEA. I'm not so much afraid of birds as I keeps my eye out on those particular birds that like to swoop and scoop (as in eyes and patches of hair) like seagulls and mean ass ducks and crows. I'll fight a winged bitch...

The God'ess said...

I'm glad you ladies shared your fears with me. It's a good thing to know you're not alone.

BE Lauriette said...

I'm so sorry for laughing at #1 ..because I'm sure that is a horrible feeling but LMAO. I guess I can laugh because I used to be scared of the clown in "IT" .. not anymore though. And I never did roller coasters.. I'm not feeling it. I get very nervous speaking in public as well. But, it's like the 30 seconds before going on I know I'm going to be okay.

The God'ess said...

That's just it, BE. I'm not scared of clowns. As a matter of fact, I had an uncle that was a clown for 30+ years performing at hospitals and parades and whatnot. So they don't bother me. It's that oversized dome of the BK dude and that creepy ass smile.