Next, I'm noticing the date on the calendar and I see that we only have a few more days of the blog challenge and I would be lying if I didn't say part of me feels relieved. This was harder than I thought it would be and looking at some of my past blogs, I didn't really put as much effort into them as I would have liked. Between time restraints and lack of topics, some of those things stink worse than 31-day old unwashed armpits and I can say that because I used to blog heavily and these were nothing like them.
I used to write about sex...A LOT...and I wondered to myself why hadn't I done that here. Well, it dawned on me...I'm not having sex like I used to (sucks to be me), so I don't talk about it much anymore. Don't you despise folks that talk about shit that they have absolutely no clue about? I mean, everyone has an opinion, but I'm speaking about those that are experts on EVERY DAMN THING, even though they haven't been through half the shit they're talking about. You know the ones..."Yeah girl, that fool ain't givin' you no money and he's spending all of his time at work? You should drop his ass not now, but right now." All the while, her lonely, pathetic ass is sitting at home on a Friday night playing Solitaire on the computer and getting mad because she's losing. Get The Fuck Outta Here!!
Now please don't think that I'm one of those bitter chicks that's mad because she's not getting as much as I used to. Trust me, I'm not. I'm enjoying getting to know who I am and what I like and don't like and what I will and won't put up with. I'm readying myself for my king and I truly don't want to be used up like an old sponge. But I'm at the point in my life that, while sex is great (I'm 39 and in the prime of my life so it's actually better than great), I want more. I want a lasting relationship (marriage not necessarily necessary) and I want to give my all to someone who will appreciate, cherish and reciprocate. Don't have me doing all the work because I'm not having that.
I know this post is all over the place. I started off talking about blogs and ended up with relationships. That's the way my mind works at times. That's another reason that I have insomnia...even when my body is at rest, my mind isn't. But oh and well, this is my space to fill and I filled it. Feel free to comment...or not. I'll still love you anyway. :-)
5 comments:
I SO get you. I swear I have adult ADD sometimes.
I was a bad insomniac (on the phone with Kween til 2 am) and then I started going to dialysis at night and they prescribed me Ambien.
I
LOVE
IT
Pop it in my mouth and sleep in 10 minutes. I'm feeling much more rested, normal even, these days.
It ain't about shit when your body is resting and your mind isn't and you wake up more tired than you went to sleep.
I hope you find peace soon Sis.
Trust, I know how it feels to be on one topic and end up on another. Blog writing is usually easy for me...it's the proofing part that makes it a process. I'm constantly re-checking shit to make sure I don't sound so scatter-brained. LOL
*looking up* Yea...I remember those nights of talking until we were almost snoring in each others' ears, Dee. LOL
Don't let it go too far, sis. After a while your body will shut down on you and you will start hallucinating. You'll see floating horses everywhere. O_o
Kweenie and I do that too, Dee. When she starts singing everything, I know it's time to hang up...LOL.
You know, the scatter-brained part of it is cool to me. Not everything in life is meant to be neatly packaged. So a little confusion is good.
And tonight, I think I'll be asleep before my head hits the pillow.
Joy says I do that, too. I start singing and what not. LOL I guess I sing myself my own lullabies. (maybe it has to do with getting sung to sleep by the ex) LOL
...and, trust. Go back and read. I come across ADD even after all of the spellcheck and proofing. lol
Yeah...I'll admit he was good at that.
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